I have gone back and fourth about writing about this whole break up thing. It’s personal and complicated. But with all of the rough moments that come with a break up, like the mood swings, rumors, unanswered questions, and all that dumb stuff, I have managed to find the bright side of a heartbreak.
First love. Mixed feelings tag along with this phrase in my mind. Like “first love”? What does that mean? There will be more of these? This will end? I honestly still cannot sit here and act like I have learned the answer in the last few weeks either. But today I have been able to accept that phrase for what it has given me so far.
Falling in love and being in love is nothing short of magical. Yes. Like fairytales, movies, all the stuff us little girls dream about. And regardless of how it ends or how complicated it may pile up to be, I am thankful that I got to experience what I did. All the new places I got to discover, new types of food I tried, memories I made with someone I cared about more than anything, people I got to meet, everything, every second of it.
A close family friend of mine once told me some great advice that has stuck with me for years. She told me that “hindsight is 20/20.” Which means that looking back on things, you see everything more clearly. Perfectly even. It is one of the most true sayings I have ever heard. Right now, hindsight is as perfect as it could be. I’ve realized and learned so much from this event in my life and thought I would share a little bit.:)
1. Always make time for yourself. Personally, I was so into someone that I just wanted to be around them every second. But my issue was that the time that I neglected to take care of myself ended up mentally destroying me.
2. I was blinded by love. I never really thought this could happen until I realized it had happened to me. That saying “we except the love we think we deserve” is so true. We get too caught up in how much we care about someone to realize that we let ourselves get treated a way we would have never stood for before.
3. Break ups bring out people’s true colors. You will be shocked by a side of someone you never thought existed.
4. Live in the moment. When you are around someone special don’t take any moment for granted. Don’t stress about what to do next, just take in the moment and cherish it. Think about the way you feel in that time and how you feel around that person and keep hold of it because you never know when it may all change.
5. People are going to judge. They will judge when you are together and even when you are apart. They will think they know the whole story when in reality only you and that person know how your relationship worked and how it went wrong.
6. There are always two sides to a story. When people are hurt they will become angry and go to lengths you could not imagine to hurt people that hurt them. Listen to both sides before you jump to conclusions.
7. Break ups are between two people. That’s it. So don’t make people pick sides. It’s childish. Whatever happened between the two people is their business. It doesn’t change your relationship with either one of them.
8. You may love someone but sometimes, they don’t love YOU. They love what you gave them, for loving them and supporting them. It’s hard to see and accept sometimes.
9. True friends come out after a break up. They will hold you and be right by your side through it all. So notice and thank them.
10. Nothing is set in stone. I mean, let’s be real. Nothing in life is set. Ever really. As scary as that is God has a plan and we just have to accept that everything that happens is part of that. Don’t hold your breath for anything. Just live day by day appreciating what you have now, the things that make you happy, and what is important to you. It’s a new chapter and nobody knows what is to come!
Being in love for the first time was one hell of a ride. Some of the best days of my life so far happened in those two years. I went to my first country and rap concert, traveled, truly missed someone to the point where I physically hurt, I felt what it was like to be crazy in love and be best friends, I saw a future with someone, I was 100% vulnerable to a teenage boy (so scary), ate more sushi, poke, and Thai food than I probably will in my entire life lol, I met new people, spent over 100$ on a scrapbook that I probably will keep because I worked so hard on it, took a train by myself, had two special New Years kisses, almost got on the kiss cam at the Angel game, watched a lot of fireworks, felt a lot of fireworks haha, developed a second home, had many wild adventures, said I love you at least 1,460 times, created a huge collection of inside jokes, cried for the good and the bad, was more excited for someone else’s success than my own at times, and I learned how to communicate. I was an emotional, dramatic, confusing teenage girl at points which was just a part of growing up. When it was all said and done, I got through it all. The amazing parts and the ending. Thanks God for my first love, it’s been real.❤️
All My Love, T