In today’s world I feel like there is such a bad idea to being single. Or some people think of themselves as any less if they are. But I have really been wanting to write this to the people out there who are and can’t seem to find the peace in that. You’re probably thinking it’s weird. Why are you writing this if you have been in a relationship for a little over a year and a half? And I could see that, but before I got into this relationship being single helped me get here. I can’t advocate enough how import self love is. We ALL struggle with it. Like me. A lot. Other times I’m good, great even. But first don’t ever think everyday of your life will be easy to be confident because it won’t. I made that mistake and then when I would get down and question things I felt like I was taking a whole step back from making my life a little bit better than before. Remember that it’s a rollercoaster. As cliche and dumb as that sounds it really is.
Anyway, back to self love and being single. I’m not here to judge anyone AT ALL. Everyone is different with their emotions and the comfort they feel they need in their life. For example, one person could need a ton of friends to be happy and without that they feel lost or insecure. Others rely on their happiness from a boy. I’m not sure how old anyone is who is reading this but I can say from my experience this starts at a pretty young age. And is a habit and thought not easy to break but once you do I’m telling you! It’s the best feeling. Everyone likes readying things in lists so I’m going to try and do that on this subject.
1. Being single is all about the right mind set or perspective.
Yeah, it’s true. After a break up or just a long time of being single you can start to look at it in a bad way. I get that. And it’s okay to be a little down for a bit because we can’t tell ourselves to not feel any way. But once your sad time is over GET YOUR BUTT UP AND START OVER! Being single means openness, opportunity, more open time to yourself. Once you keep telling yourself this it becomes believable in your mind. And that’s because it is true.
2. With the right perspective you can start to live for yourself.
What does living for yourself even mean? This can be answered in many many different ways depending on who you’re talking to. What I mean right now is
“You don’t have to prove anything to anyone. It is your life”
Your life is your life. I find that this scary thought process really comes to light in middle school. It becomes all about the attention you’re getting from people and for girls specifically boys. “Oh this many guys like me but that many guys like her so that must mean I’m not as good as her or I’m not pretty”. SO DUMB LIKE I FEEL DUMB EVEN WRITING IT. But let’s be honest we all go through it. Best thing I got out of middle school in the end was
“Your value is never based on what other people think of you, how many people like you, or how many boys think you hot”
This can translate to being single. That first time of feeling like we have to prove ourselves to people comes about then and can come up again. When you reach the point where your ready to live for youself and get the most out of being single tell yourself these things for little reminders.
Start with- ” I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. It’s my life”
– do what makes you feel good
– don’t be afraid to be alone. Alone time makes you grow. It’s important to take time alone.
– take this time to spend time with your friends! There are so many fun things to do out there. Grab a friend and do it.
– quality time with one friend may be even better than hanging with a huge group so don’t feel any pressure.
– spend time with family. When all comes crashing down your family is there for you. Show them during this time how much you appreciate it.
– show your grandparents some love. I love my grandma. Love them before your older and it’s too late.:(
– kiss a boy. Or two. Or don’t at all. People get so caught up in “the rebound” or hooking up. Like if you want to hook up with someone do it. The next day if you want to do it again, do it. Like I’m not saying go be a sl*t hahah. But do what you feel like doing and don’t care at all what others think about it. Just keep in the back of your mind what level of respect you want for yourself and try and find that balance.:)
-be spontaneous! I say this to myself ALL THE TIME. Get up and do something. Random or not. Just get out there and experience something. This helps a ton in the beginning because it always helps to get your mind off recent events.
– your aloud to relax and be lazy. Have a night in. Watch movies. Do what calms you. With people or not. You don’t always have to be doing something.
– still care about people. Show people how much they mean to you and spend time with them if they are in need because you may be too. Don’t loose all compassion just because you’re taking time for yourself.
3. New things will come, maybe not right away but eventually.
So this list doesn’t go on forever I’m going to stop lol. Honestly, being single is a time to learn to live your life being happy with who you are. It’s a time to find what makes you happy and find happiness without a boy being around. That’s pretty much it. It is so important to find this happiness with yourself because once you do usually someone comes along and surprises you at a time when you least expect it. Like a little present for taking time for yourself. At least that’s what happened to me:)) And if it doesn’t that just means it’s not the time yet. No rush.
I hope this helps a little to anyone out there who feels a little lost with themselves over a break up or not having that special someone. You’re your own special someone and nothing is wrong with that. Enjoy it.
All my love, T